Be Angry...

...But sin not.  That's what the Bible says right there in the fourth chapter and 26th verse of Ephesians.  If you keep reading you'll learn that anger gives a foothold to the devil.  And then, a little further down, around verse 29, you'll learn that you shouldn't use foul or abusive language.  Instead, that same verse reminds you to let every word you say be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Let me look back over the past 30 minutes since I've returned home with the boys from a few hours out at the park and running errands.  I pretty much bombed verse 26.  The devil had a good hold of me when I hollered at Baylor, so there went verse 27. And from the look on Baylor's face he wasn't very encouraged by the words he heard from me loudly and clearly (that means I ruined it with verse 29 as well).

So here I sit trying to process it all and get my blood pressure back down to a normal level.  Didn't I just have this discussion with Baylor earlier this week after a few minor mishaps of losing his temper and lashing out?  I very clearly remember telling him that God gave us the feeling of anger.  It's okay to be angry. BUT it's how we react when we're angry that really shows how much we rely on God to work in our lives.  Apparently I wasn't relying on God during my tirade (over a flooded bathroom counter top and sopping wet floor).  I think instead I gave the devil that foothold that was mentioned earlier.

Why am I taking the time to write about this (especially when I haven't posted since Mother's Day)?  Because in addition to showing me how to handle anger in His way, God has also recently shown me the importance of being an authentic Christian.  So many times, people get this crazy idea that Christians never mess up, that they live out their day-to-day walk spotlessly.  Is it because that's what we want people to believe and that's the side we try to show most often?  Let me tell ya, it just ain't so.  If I sat down and wrote every time that I sinned in anger or practiced anything less than self-control with my precious boys, I'd have several volumes of writings.  My heart is broken over the way I reacted to Baylor.  And if it broke mine, I know it broke my Creator's heart, too.  So, I do what I've done so many times before; I seek His forgiveness (and Baylor's, too).  And He gracefully gives it to me time and time again. I also seek His strength the next time that one of these episodes presents itself... and I know that one will come along.  Until then, if you've ever had the strange thought that I'm somehow an always perfect, always smiling, always encouraging mother, well, let's talk.  I promise I'll be real.